It has been a strange start to the new year for me, I have started it without my dad.
Richard Garrett died on the 22nd of December. He did not pass away or go to sleep, we have not lost him, he died and we are here learning how to live without him. I know my family and I are not the only people to have lost someone but I think it’s too soon for that to be comforting, I still feel very selfish. What is comforting is the huge outpouring of love and support we have received and the memories of the life dad lived. I am trying to feel lucky, lucky that we had time to say goodbye, that we had 9 years after the cancer diagnosis and that he fought so well, lucky that he taught me so much, lucky that we went on incredible holidays, ate amazing food and laughed hysterically. He had, and gave us, the most amazing life.
Most people view the new year as a new start but I’m not sure I’m ready for that. There is too much to process from the last year, from the last month of it. I don’t want a new year, I want the last 21 again and again. I didn’t make any new years resolutions but what I will say is this; I want to make him proud daily and remember him always, however that may be.
We’ve started a JustGiving page in dad’s memory. Before he died he asked for money to be fundraised in his name for The Bedford Hospital Primrose Unit, where he was treated throughout his illness, and St John’s Hospice, where he spent his final weeks. If you’d like to give anything, no matter how small, you can donate here.